11:30 pm: I was in my bed, trying to sleep away my troubles … or … was unconsciously waiting for the clock to struck 12.

Tick tock, tick tock, as the clock moves every second, I remained wide awake. I am not a night person, I like to sleep early if it’s not a weekend but today I couldn’t sleep.

11:45 pm: Still no sleep, so I decided to stalk people on Instagram (Just you should know: I’m not a stalker). As I scrolled, I saw new year posts, people tagging photos #lastdinner2017 #goodbye2017 #weclome2018 and then parties, dinners, list of their accomplishments, traditional new year resolutions etc. Suddenly I had a flashback: what I’d achieved in 2017?

Wooo, that’s tough. Okay so here I begin, but before that let me tell you that all this flashback happened in just a few seconds. So here is the list of things which came to my mind during that flashback. It has all my accomplishments, downfalls, tragedies, happiness etc.

• Attended first ever conference in my own country, had loads of fun and made new friends with whom I am not in touch. Met my biggest design inspirations.
• Achieved 7.5 in IELTS.
• Applied for a loan, rejected (twice).
• Set up my own business in 2016, struggled throughout 2018 to expand it, still struggling.
• Applied for US visa, rejected (again).
• My uncle (father’s elder brother) passed away.
• My aunt (mother’s brother’s wife) passed away.
• Traveled to UAE several times for business, no luck.
• Suffered from depression, so had to see a psychiatrist. Cried my heart out in front of the doctor, still suffer from depression.
• Went to emergency twice.
• Gained 2 kgs because of stress.
• Achieved A- in my course.
• Had to withdraw from my favorite car because of some financial problems.

11:50 pm: Wooo, that’s a lot for me. I shuffled my head and got up. I started to think that if I sum up, 2017 was not a productive year for me. I struggled more and achieved less. This thinking took me quite a few minutes to recover.

11:58 pm: So what should be my new year resolution, or should I even plan some new year resolutions?

12:00 am: The clock struck twelve and with this, I realized something:

Whatever the case is, I plan to do one thing for sure and that is:

I’ll be hopeful.

I am not sure how, but I need to be hopeful. I want to be hopeful and I want to see what difference does it make.

12:01 am: I planned to start my new year with this thought.  I hope that best things happen in my life and in the lives of all the other people.

12:02 am: Too late to stay awake, had to reach office early in the morning. I went back to my bed and fell asleep.